I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
