her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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