is your mom at the bar?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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