he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
