Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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