I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
