You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
