Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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