You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
