i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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