If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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