Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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