Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
