Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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