escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Couch. On fire.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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