I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
