i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
