on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
