I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize