Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Farmville is her only friend.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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