bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
