I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize