what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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