dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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