I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
