Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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