Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
