Kiss
Puke
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
