I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
