id be glad to
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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