at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
