...so i touched it.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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