I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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