Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
