Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
