I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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