The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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