I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize