I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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