Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
