it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
