Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
