I'm really into asian looking animals
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
