not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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