Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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