If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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