You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
