My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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