When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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