dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
