you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize