Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Green mimosas i think yes
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
