anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
