even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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