Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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