R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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