I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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